tacing

macam biasa rutin aku amek sofea dr sekolah dan borak ngn dia dalam kereta. decided nk masak jer semalam sbb dah kecewa dengan foodpanda. kesian sofea lapar tunggu nasik tk sampai sampai. and among the conversation semalam was,

“mama Sofea tanak besar. Sofea nk kecik jer so bole main dengan mama”

 sedih nya dengar. hmm aku ni pn kalo boleh biar dia baby jer. yg bole cakap sikit sikit jer tuh. yg masih bole dukung. tak payah nk besar sangat lah. nanti dah pandai bercinta lagi parah. mana dah dia letak mama ngn daddy dia.

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dari dulu aku selalu terfikir kalo laa ada orang kecewa kan Sofea mesti aku sedih. camane arwah abah sedih bila orang kecewa kan aku. huu tanak pikir lah nnt aku makin tacing.

xoxo

did you ?

belum rasa nak tido. and baru jer habis packing barang nak pos esok. i have a few must-do-things before noon esok. anta Sofea pegi school, then drop by post office, then head straight to rumah Pudina and finally to the laundry.

getting fatter too. not healthy. and definitely not happy. it affects a lot of things especially my level of fitness. really need to work on this slowly. bloated and seriously it affect my whole life. next week boleh start lari lari anak kat tasik i guess 🤭 jangan kau malas pulak nnt

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i think i’m getting better on financial control. i have slowly stop buying benda merepek. erk walau pun i just bought semua warna inner from dUCk. sekarang suka beli note book dan pen. aku pn tak tau kenapa nk kene beli semua tu. walhal ada banyak jer lagi 😓 mungkin boleh jot down progress workout aku kot. eh

xoxo

 

Longggg Hol

sipping my cup of ginger ale. cold one. and a chocolate bar. tv is playing Kingsman. life is good ☺️ seronok betul kalo tak keje tapi still got paid. haishh. mana nak dapat kehidupan camtu ?

bila Malaysia ada long holiday camni aku paling seronok lah. sebab utama i don’t to go to work. i don’t have to attend any meetings. i don’t have to pick up calls too. duduk rumah mandi kan Sofea anta dia pegi school. balik rumah breakfast. kalo rajin cuci baju dan vacum umah. routine. nampak cam simple tapi sebenar nya penat jugak. ni pn ada lagi baju tak anta pegi laundry.

got my parcel too. barang dari jepun. hiuhiuhiu. sample for the new pink foundation. haihh best btol. got some shawl from hanimarissa too. shawl malas malas pegi sekolah ke pegi beli goreng pisang ke. haha ntah bila pn hidup aku g beli goreng pisang 😅

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he left for Mersing  sbb tangki die runtuh. haha. lama dah tak de kesah benda benda runtuh ni. cerun ke ape benda laa. hihi. nampak tak entri ni sebenar nya tadak purpose. just telling that i am happy dan tenang.

xoxo

Father Dearest

we are so busy growing up that we forget they are growing older. that hits me hard.

i almost forget how does it feels to have a father again 😢 a dearly father to everyone, i love him already. guess i always get myself attached to a father better than a mother ☺️

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abah,

the pain, the void and the emptiness are beyond words. tak ada air mata yang mampu pulihkan rasa sedih, rasa kosong, rasa kehilangan tersebut. tak ada kata mampu menyatakan rasa rindu yang terbuku. yes, i have not write about you for quite sometimes but my heart beats your name ❤️

i want you to know that i am happy again. Sofea is happy too. we are all happy. thank you for everything you taught me. you made me the best person i am today. you taught me to be the best version of a girl / lady can be. i love you so much and thank you 😭 ❤️

xoxo

Better Days

penat sebenarnya. sangat penat. tapi biasa laa aku ni jenis suka fikir lebih. overthinking kills 😔 tapi itu jugak laa yang aku buat

keje is keje lah. tapi keadaan sekarang agak memenatkan. dulu ada coordinator yang power. jadi aku tak banyak sangat fikir. you know aku bukan jenis natural leader. i don’t lead !

 

bukan perangai aku jugak nak shine bagai ni. i don’t bother orang kenal aku ke tidak. orang penting kan aku ke tak. seriously aku tak kesah pon if orang tak ingat aku 😂 cukup jer dua tiga kerat yang aku ada. memadai ❤️

okay laa sis penat. malas nk fikir benda lain. better days are coming. lets go somewhere !

xoxo

oh Sofea !

yassss, it’s Saturday again.

semalam after the sushi dinner daddy left for an open house. the house was a bit messy. so i decided to clean it up a bit. despite of my sore body i know i just have to do it. hahah 😖 sebenar nya sentap sendiri bila beliau pegi dapur and still ada periuk nasik tak cuci. kohkohkoh.

lepas tu biasa laa Sofea tanya macam macam. then i suddenly heard her singing a new song, probably the one she learned from her school. pastu dalam hati terfikir, anak aku ni lagu macam macam dah tahu. alfatihah dah pandai baca ke idok ? nervous tau 😫

pastu tanya laa dia, “Sofea dah pandai baca alfatihah blom ?”

and she said, “no”

gulp ! 😣

so i recited the surah and asked her to follow my voice. tapi dah pesan dgr and baca baik baik.

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and she recited well. siap tanya lagi, “ape dia mama? cuba ulang sofea tak jelas”

haa camtu ayat dia. so i was happy.

bila dah setel “ãmīnn” dia pn senyum and tanya, “mama, okay tak Sofea baca ?”

i replied, ” okay la tu. nnt baca lagi yee”

she again asked, ” are sure mama ?”

i said,” yes sayang”

she looked at me macam nak mencari kepastian in my eyes.

” so dah boleh main. yes !”

berlari ke ruang tamu amek Barbie dia terus sambung menyanyi.

😑

xoxo