tacing

macam biasa rutin aku amek sofea dr sekolah dan borak ngn dia dalam kereta. decided nk masak jer semalam sbb dah kecewa dengan foodpanda. kesian sofea lapar tunggu nasik tk sampai sampai. and among the conversation semalam was,

“mama Sofea tanak besar. Sofea nk kecik jer so bole main dengan mama”

 sedih nya dengar. hmm aku ni pn kalo boleh biar dia baby jer. yg bole cakap sikit sikit jer tuh. yg masih bole dukung. tak payah nk besar sangat lah. nanti dah pandai bercinta lagi parah. mana dah dia letak mama ngn daddy dia.

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dari dulu aku selalu terfikir kalo laa ada orang kecewa kan Sofea mesti aku sedih. camane arwah abah sedih bila orang kecewa kan aku. huu tanak pikir lah nnt aku makin tacing.

xoxo

did you ?

belum rasa nak tido. and baru jer habis packing barang nak pos esok. i have a few must-do-things before noon esok. anta Sofea pegi school, then drop by post office, then head straight to rumah Pudina and finally to the laundry.

getting fatter too. not healthy. and definitely not happy. it affects a lot of things especially my level of fitness. really need to work on this slowly. bloated and seriously it affect my whole life. next week boleh start lari lari anak kat tasik i guess 🤭 jangan kau malas pulak nnt

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i think i’m getting better on financial control. i have slowly stop buying benda merepek. erk walau pun i just bought semua warna inner from dUCk. sekarang suka beli note book dan pen. aku pn tak tau kenapa nk kene beli semua tu. walhal ada banyak jer lagi 😓 mungkin boleh jot down progress workout aku kot. eh

xoxo

 

Longggg Hol

sipping my cup of ginger ale. cold one. and a chocolate bar. tv is playing Kingsman. life is good ☺️ seronok betul kalo tak keje tapi still got paid. haishh. mana nak dapat kehidupan camtu ?

bila Malaysia ada long holiday camni aku paling seronok lah. sebab utama i don’t to go to work. i don’t have to attend any meetings. i don’t have to pick up calls too. duduk rumah mandi kan Sofea anta dia pegi school. balik rumah breakfast. kalo rajin cuci baju dan vacum umah. routine. nampak cam simple tapi sebenar nya penat jugak. ni pn ada lagi baju tak anta pegi laundry.

got my parcel too. barang dari jepun. hiuhiuhiu. sample for the new pink foundation. haihh best btol. got some shawl from hanimarissa too. shawl malas malas pegi sekolah ke pegi beli goreng pisang ke. haha ntah bila pn hidup aku g beli goreng pisang 😅

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he left for Mersing  sbb tangki die runtuh. haha. lama dah tak de kesah benda benda runtuh ni. cerun ke ape benda laa. hihi. nampak tak entri ni sebenar nya tadak purpose. just telling that i am happy dan tenang.

xoxo

Sorry Little Girl

baru siap mandi. watching P Ramlee. was not okay.

not really happy. not really healthy. i feel bloated. super bloated. mcm nk kempis kan jer semua yang kembang kembang nih. 😭 stress tahu ?

kesian Sofea lah kalau aku bad mood. Daddy pn kesian jugak. tak pepasal jer semua benda jd tak kene 😪 tak seronok lah camni sebenar nya. rasa cam nk jauh kan diri dr semua orang pon ada. nak kata tak cukup kasih sayang, aku rasa elok jer. tak de pn rasa terabai ke apa. ntah laa. i don’t understand myself.

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sorry Sofea. i’m not that good. but i try. cuma sometimes mama gagal 😢 i pray that you will always be happy and healthy. i love you ❤️ even sometimes i feel that i don’t deserve you.

xoxo

I Need Ideas

memandangkan aku masih belum sebok like hell. so kita guna kan masa sebaiknya. bukan dengan aktiviti kurang berfaedah ( sebab laki kau xde kan ?) cuba kalo ada dekat udah breakfast pon Kelana Jaya

memandangkan umah aku dh nak start renovation ( and aku blom bayar deposit utk reno lagi ) kene laa aku buat homework sikit apa nak beli, camane nak susun umah tu nanti. memandangkan living hall aku coet jer. i think ini jer pon dh memadai. haha. dedua laki ngn sofea suka lepak depan tv. so tang tv tu kene beso sikit lah.sofa kene selesa sbb depa dua suka tido sesama

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jap nnt tgk dining area plak lah. hhaha. lapar nih.

xoxo

Day One

cleaning up my new space. aku x minat sgt file berlambak kat belakang meja. jiwa rasa semak. so what i did was, i put those files dalam kotak and stack them up ✌🏻 and tak de tempat lain selain di tepi dinding sana. janji tersorok dari pandangan mata aku.

jadi meja belakang ni macam tempat aku letak semua barangan peribadi. macam sebuah kenangan aku dan masa dulu. i have my photo with Sal and mummy. i have my Sydney tumbler from Aishatul. i have my Honma from the one and only ❤️ i have my selipar jepun from Zul and cermin from Che Cah. nnt aku yakin akan ada files dan surat dan kerja kerja pending. but not today laa.

i have so much love for this people. mungkin dorang jer tak tahu sangat. haha. but they stay in my heart. not in the mood of working yet. i have something to do but this PC is not helping.

so may be later la. i’m so sleepy too 😪

okay done meroboh kan meja ni. dah alih kan PC and printer. apemende laa semua longgok atas meja. habukkkk. stress! now this room dah bersih, berkilat dan bercahaya. hahah.

xoxo