finally she fell asleep. she cried hard earlier on. and i cried too. mom is full of drama. don’t know whether i’ve been a good mom or not. but sometimes memang mengundang marah perangai nya. kids are like that – been listening to this for a thousand times 😌 have been chanting that to myself too. normally it works, but today is exceptional i guess. 😥 i feel super bad. my intention is just to teach her. i hope she knows that i love her my than my own life 😔 xoxo

Bring Back

been hay-wired this few days. was not that well last week. and work doesn’t help. my sleeping habit changed. i have problems sleeping at 11pm. started to sleep at 2am. and that sucks ! 😭 i used to have a normal schedule for my sleep, but i don’t know what went wrong. i need my sleep back. may be this is the reason why i become cranky.   currently on the  big bang theory marathon 😜 hopefully i can sleep later xoxo

Without You

i slept all day. i don’t go out and meet people. including my brother. and my other friends. i just see him. i think that is the best thing for me today. he is the only person that makes me feel comfortable being myself. especially when i am not okay 😌 i didn’t put on my make ups. i didn’t dressed up. i don’t know. i was not that sad today. but i feel empty. April is always tough for me. it was this day i totally lost him. and it was today that i have to admit that i won’t…


when i am home, i prefer my laptop more than my TV. i don’t bother to watch movies or series. i would rather read something on the net. or simply be here 😌 i just love to write even my language is not that good. but whatever 🤷🏻‍♀️   when i am alone, i feel calm and quiet. as if i belong to only myself. sometimes i feel empty. sometimes i feel i am not myself. some other times, i feel numb. i always think about my family when i was a kid. everyone was around. it feels complete. may be i…