The struggle

still struggling with my own feelings. yes, in this 2018 i still have my own uncertainties. and mostly it is all about myself. there are days that i feel i am such a tough girl who rock your boat 🀠 but some other time i feel like i am no one. and no one should be near to me.Β not because i don’t like them, but more to i don’t deserve them.

I will bring nothing good to them. and yes, i have nothing to offer too 😰

Depression is not always at 3am, sometimes it hits you at 3pm when you are with your friends and youare halfway through a laugh and suddenly stop

I cannot control how i feel. But the feeling of unwanted is very deep sometimes. Now i’m feeling it again 😭 i know that i shouldn’t have to feel that way. But again i cannot control what i feel

Sometimes i hope i can just disappear from this world. Temporarily. So you only see me when i am better πŸ˜ͺ the feeling of need to be heard and not to be a burden is so stressful. Stuck in between the two is even worse 😞

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Self, Jan, 2018

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